No breakup this week, but as Salem says at the start of this episode… shit is getting real. Down to five! I don’t know if people realize how big of a deal this is. We are more than two months into dating, through 95 people. I must have something with these remaining five women or I still wouldn’t be dating them. I can tell from some comments that you all are starting to be invested in all of these women– imagine how I feel…so with that, this is part 7 in the chapter of my life called Second Chances, and it goes a little something like this…
Something always seems to happen on these group dates. I thought I fixed that by breaking up with some of the ladies whom I believed were at the source of all of it…but it turns out that I didn’t have to worry about one of the women who was invited to the date to bring the drama. It was someone uninvited.
I will be very honest with you; I was thrilled to see Maya. I know she didn’t get along with everyone, but we hit it off at the start of this process. I also couldn’t believe that she was there, not going to lie, I thought to myself “how did I go from marrying a stranger, to this.” It’s been a long, strange journey and there is still so much to tell.
At that moment, I wanted to bring Maya back. However, I am committed to the five women that are sitting at that table. I also told those 5 women just last week that I am only committed to the women that were in this process. Maya is no longer in this process. I find it difficult to retreat on what I told them. I had to see how this would affect the group. I figured it wouldn’t go over well, I just didn’t know how well that it would not go over.
I have NEVER felt so much tension at a table before. Once I told the girls that I couldn’t give Maya an answer, every girl was staring holes right through me. As upset as they were, I stood firm in my decision to not immediately reject Maya. This is my journey, I have to do what’s best for me. I also need to meet with each of these women one-on-one and consider the ramifications if I bring Maya back, because if I do, I don’t think they will continue to date me. So I need to see how all of these relationships stack up once and for all… Individual dates for everyone!
As I prepare for these dates…and even outside of this week, let’s be real. I need some help. That is why I call on my new friend and dating expert Rachel. What Rachel says is 100% correct. If Maya and I have or had that strong of a connection and Maya is the one, who cares if this process ends four weeks early. In four weeks, none of these girls will be involved. That is something I take to heart and will be thinking through on each of these dates.
Misha is unreal, and the moment we had on the bridge, was unreal. How strong I felt at that moment came rushing back to me when I was watching this back. Not to plug my Instagram (@therealdavenorton!), but since you are all devoted readers of my blog, I will fill you in on a little something…I took a photo from that bridge that night with a quote on where my head was at that moment. Interpret as you will.
Misha wants to talk about Melika, and I appreciate her story and thoughts. However, I want to focus on her so I just want to answer that question as quickly as possible and move on. Even if that did happen, that happened two months ago, a lot has changed since then. I am done talking about the other women on these dates and it’s very off putting. Misha and I haven’t had a lot of time to talk individually, so I’d rather not dwell on it and I don’t want her feelings on Melika to influence my feelings towards her.
It’s nice to have a date with Salem after the family conversation we had last week. I didn’t want to bring it up again, but I did want her to know that that is what this next phase is all about– how are lives mesh—and family is a part of that. Salem and I always have such a great time together. A strong relationship is building that friendship, and that’s what we are doing.
It’s nice to have her in my corner. I know that she was upset when Maya came back, but she understood. She can put herself in my shoes and know this isn’t easy for me, just like I can put myself in hers and know it’s not easy for her. I just need to see if we can now get to that romantic level now that the friendship is there.
Whoever said that there is no such thing as a bad day on the golf course is a liar. Especially after how this date starts.
I was so excited to see Isabella after what’s happened the last few weeks. I have said it before: she carries herself with such poise and I am just so relaxed and at peace when I am around her. She is the calm in the middle of a storm. Even when she’s upset and hiding something, she carries herself that way– which is good because you can tell she is even-keeled, but bad because it means she can hide emotions, which can make it difficult for me to read her. Maybe I am misreading this calm, maybe it’s just a calm before the storm.
She makes it very clear that she’s upset that Maya is back, but then drops that her ex-boyfriend reached out to her and is kind of back in the fold, thus she’s a little confused about everything. Isn’t this the same thing I am going through and what she’s so upset at me about? How can she be upset at me about Maya if the exact same thing is happening to her?
I have seen this before, where I was dating someone and then someone from their past came into the picture and things didn’t particularly go well for me (But it also led me to a point where I got to date 100 women at the same time, so you take the good with the bad. I guess).
I thank her for telling me and the timing is unfortunate but I am still optimistic about our relationship. That day her and I had something happen where Isabella could have ran away from me. She didn’t. Instead, I feel like we are growing together. We are facing things that we weren’t expecting to face and confronting situations we didn’t think we’d confront, and we are getting through it. If anything, it is making us stronger. Something really difficult turned into something really great for us and I am glad everything is on the table so I can make the right decision about us.
But with that being said, I will still stick to Golden Tee at Lost Dog with the bros, as opposed to the golf course from now on.
If the nation’s favorite couple is called America’s Sweethearts, what’s the opposite of that? Because that’s what Melika and I appear to be.
Say what you want, but she does say to me that she likes me. What am I supposed to say to her when the other girls bring up the things that they claim she said? Call her a liar? First, I am not going to bring up other girls on my dates, that would be hypocritical. Secondly, a relationship is built on trust. She says that she likes me, so I must believe her. But then she continues and talks about the fact that even though she likes me, our future remains uncertain.
If you think about it, her answer is probably what a lot of people would feel in her shoes. Especially after Maya came back and I wouldn’t reject her asking to come back to the process. Honestly, if I was one of a bunch of guys, I wouldn’t want to get my hopes up about marriage and risk getting my heart broken. Saying that she’s unsure if I am forever, when I am dating 4, 5 other people, I can see how that can be tough to visualize. I can also see that she’s thinking ahead to after this process is over. It’s tough to see through all the noise. She’s not pretending and I respect and appreciate her honesty. She likes our potential; I think that’s normal and I think we can continue to build off of that.
Since the start of Second Chances, I have talked a lot about how I have grown since my marriage and I think this is one of the time where you can see that first-hand. There was a time when someone I would be dating (or married to) would say that they don’t know what the future holds. I would freak out– see my marriage. During my marriage, that happened and I admittedly freaked out and began pressing, probably way too hard. Even the Married at First Sight Universe said I was being too overbearing, that I needed to chill and I learned I probably was and that I needed to chill. What was I going to do at the moment, freak out and break up with her? Honestly, her truthfulness is refreshing, I feel a lot of the women are saying things that they think they are supposed to, or what I want to hear, or what will make them look good– see Callie’s “Apology,” but Melika trusts our relationship enough to be honest with me. Listen, I know I am probably more into her than she is into me, but she has said it’s not that she doesn’t like me. She even says that if she didn’t like me she wouldn’t be here, but needs to be sure since she has been hurt in the past.
For those saying she’s here just to “win,” there is no cash prize at the end of this. What exactly would she win. Me? Only to then break up with me once the cameras are off? Makes no sense, I don’t think anyone is that cold-blooded. I know Melika and if she didn’t want to be here or with me… She wouldn’t. She’s making that clear right here and now.
Tara and I have been friends for half a decade. Her being here is like an 80’s romantic comedy, like ‘how did we end up here, and why did it have to come to this in order for us to date?’ I need to see if we can get into deeper conversations and escalate our relationship to a romantic level.
I know you MAFS fans missed the blue button-down shirt, I was saving it for a special occasion: this date. This was a good date. It was really nice to see Tara in high spirits since she’s been down lately. I want to reassure her that I do care about her, that maybe we haven’t gotten to spend as much time as we have wanted to, but that I am glad she is here. How this date went and knowing that if I bring Maya back she will leave…that weighs heavily on me, because I am not quite sure I am ready to give this up.
I usually have dinner once a week or so with my Mom, but I haven’t seen her since this process started. In the past, my Mom has always given some good advice. She doesn’t tell me exactly what to do, but gives great situational advice and helps me see things from all angles. I know this may come as a shocker to you all, but I have a habit of making things complicated, and she helps remind me that sometimes things are just as simple as they appear to be.
While I am talking to my mother about Maya, she says that I should listen to the other women and look for a pattern in what they say. I have been tuning that out, maybe I was wrong to? This visit got me thinking… after five amazing individual dates and a nice pep talk from Mom, there is only one thing left to do, and I am not looking forward to it…
This was my toughest breakup since the Jordan visit…there was such a large part of me that wanted her to stay. Even as I was walking to her door, I couldn’t help but reflect on everything from her proposal during speed dating, me being so flustered around her that I hit my head on a light during the BBQ, to our first kiss at the cocktail party. There was a part of me that regretted not being able to bring her back or at least wonder what could have happened if I made the decision to bring her back… however, I just couldn’t do it. All of the women have been through so much. Each week they had to sit at home and see if I was going to knock on their door. Each week despite all of the drama, all five of these women stood by myside, no matter what blunder or mistake I may have had. It just wouldn’t be fair…there will always be a “what if” when it comes to Maya. But you have to trust that whether you know it or not, life has a way of leading you to where you need to be.
I honestly don’t have a clue; I think all of these guys are a great fit for her in different ways. Vanessa did say that the guy she is breaking up with is the sensitive type, so that leads me to believe that Myles is on the chopping block. But what do I know? I am 0-3 in my predictions, so he’s probably safe.
Ex-boyfriends that won’t go away, double dates and a decision that must be made to get to the top 3. As far as we have come, there is still so much story left to tell.
Share this Post